The Downside of Vanity

By Rom Watson
c. July 9, 2011

I’m bored with the entire concept of people trying to make themselves look more attractive.  It’s shallow and a waste of time.  You either know in your heart that your innate beauty is eternal, or you don’t.  And if you don’t, then no amount of make-up, moisturizer, shampoo, conditioner, botox, fashion, jewelry or surgery can halt your gradual disintegration into a saggy bag of skin oozing poop.  Don’t get me wrong: do whatever you need to do to maintain optimum health and hygiene.  But beauty has to come from inside, so whatever you do to the outside is vanity.

Vanity didn’t use to be so omnipresent.  Nowadays, however, every part of the human anatomy has entire product lines devoted to improving it.  And every product line has an advertising campaign.  So people’s vanity is no longer a private affair, hidden in their medicine cabinet or in the hall closet behind the fresh towels.  No, vanity is now writ large upon our landscape.  It smiles down at us from billboards.  It assaults our eardrums and eyeballs from televisions.  It glares at us from the pages of magazines.  Vanity now grabs us by the lapels and screams into our faces that we are not enough.

What is the downside of this, you may ask?  Generations of people who believe the lie that they are not enough.  And personally: I am tired of seeing entire generations taking something perfectly good and ruining it by trying to make it better.  It’s fine the way it is.  Leave it alone.  You want to improve something about yourself?  Improve the inside.

The ones who really deserve our pity are the entertainers.  (Actors, singers, models, politicians, etc.)  Imagine; having your livelihood depend on your physical attractiveness.  (Insert shudder of horror here.)  Having to compare your physical attractiveness with the physical attractiveness of others is bad enough, but then to actually allow decisions based on these comparisons to guide you in improving your appearance: barbaric.

Having said that, let me tell you what I had done to my face today.

It was my first procedure of this type, and it was not my idea.  My wife scheduled back-to-back appointments for us.  However, she did ask me about it beforehand, and never having had one, I agreed to try it.  A nice woman named Carole led me into a small room with soft lighting and what appeared to be a gurney made up like a bed.  She asked me to take off my shirt and lay down on the gurney under the coverlet, and then left the room.  I did as I was told, and she reentered.  She pushed a button and classical music played.  Then she went to work, putting numerous compounds on my face and massaging them into my skin.  She had good hands, or at least knew what to do with them.  The products she used had pleasant aromas.  The classical music was soothing.  The experience was relaxing.

Did I like it?  Yeah.  Would I do it again?  Yeah.  I think it was good for my skin.  And pampering oneself is something we should all schedule on a periodic basis.

So do I have my share of vanity?  Well of course.  I’m human.  Though I will say that I am not as vain as some.  I used to think I was vain, but then in my early 20’s I met a friend who was really vain, and I realized that my level of vanity was average.  And now that I’m older, it may be slightly below average.  Looking attractive is not particularly important to me.  Looking clean and well groomed: yes.  But looking handsome: eh, why bother?  It used to matter more, a long time ago, but that’s one of the good things about getting older: you learn that the inside is more important than the outside, so you don’t care as much about your appearance.  (Examples: I will go for months without getting my hair cut, even though I would look better if I did; I don’t dye my hair, even though to do so would make me look ten years younger; I have no interest in Rogaine, despite my thinning hair; the form of exercise I practice doesn’t add bulk; I dress for comfort, not looks.)  Viewed from the vantage point of middle age, vanity is revealed to be a folly of the young.

Another reason looking attractive is not particularly important to me: I’ve been happily married for 22 years.  I don’t need to look attractive to anyone but my wife.  I don’t need the attention.

When we’re younger, we think that looking attractive is going to garner us the love we seek.  But when you’ve been loved constantly for over 22 years, you feel comfortable enough to look . . .however you happen to look.

Our addictions show us what we need to work on; what we need to overcome.  So why aren’t people trying to overcome their addictions to beauty and strength?  Yes, humans are genetically predisposed to favor attractive people over unattractive people.  That doesn’t mean we can’t make a conscious attempt to see past the physical appearance of others.  Why aren’t we trying to better ourselves, to evolve beyond our addictions and our primal urges?

However, vanity does have an upside.  The upside is paying attention to your physical form and taking care of yourself.  This often leads to something deeper: feeling good about yourself.  And if feeling good about yourself requires the latest in make-up, moisturizer, shampoo, conditioner, botox, fashion, jewelry or surgery, then so be it.

Self-esteem is worth whatever you have to do to get it.